Kom geniet saam met die AVP hierdie kostelike “bekwaamheid” en lag ‘n slaggie uit die hart uit. Indien u ‘n ou dokter is wat onbekend is met die nuwe terme in gebruik in sommige hospitale, stel ek voor dat u eers medikasie neem vir lagverstoring alvorens u trag om onderstaande pasiënte se mediese, (en ander) toestande te evalueer.  

Ten einde nie tegnologies te vêr agter te raak nie, sal ons dit ook op prys stel indien enige van die moderne mediese tegnici ‘n aanduiding kan gee van hoe die instrument lyk wat ‘n skildklier van rektale kant kan ondersoek.

Subject: Writings in a register at a hospital in South Africa. (I've not seen these before, so it's not a re-send.)

Date: 10 August 2015 11:33:10 am AWST  Actual writings in Mpumalanga Hospital Register

 1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only

a 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.

 5... She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was

very hot in bed last night.

 6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

 7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it

disappeared.

 8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be

depressed.

 9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

 11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but

forgetful.

 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 13. She is numb from her toes down.

 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 15. The skin was moist and dry.

 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until

she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. The patient refused autopsy.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

 26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities